The Story Of A Backslidden Christian
There are moments I sit quietly in my room, reflecting on the state of Christianity in my neighborhood. I lower my head and whisper, “Lord, may Your strength uphold me.”
In church, as I ponder the spiritual state of my brethren, I shake my head and mutter, “Oh Lord, may I never lose this crown.”
In my office, observing the ways of clients and customers, I sigh deeply and declare, “Temptation shall never consume me.”
Among friends, when I witness deceit and distrust, I rise and proclaim, “May God not scatter my life.”
In solitude, when I think of those who once walked in the faith but have now fallen, I weep, saying, “Oh Lord, may I never disappoint You.”
Through these reflections, I have come to this sobering truth: “A good beginning does not always guarantee a good ending, and no one is beyond the risk of backsliding.”
This is a truth every Christian should take seriously. It is easy to look at someone who has fallen and wonder how such a person could have reached that point.
It is easy to say, “I can never do that,” while forgetting that spiritual carelessness often begins with small compromises that appear harmless at first.
The Christian journey requires vigilance. We are not called merely to begin well; we are called to continue walking with God faithfully.
A person may start with passion, serve in the church, sing beautifully, preach powerfully, pray fervently, and still become vulnerable when the secret life is neglected. The greatest battles are often not fought before crowds. They are fought when nobody is watching, when the phone is in your hand, when temptation knocks quietly, when nobody would know if you opened the door.
Now, allow me to share a true story—one that changed my view of grace, mercy, and restoration.
It is the story of my dear brother in Christ. We prayed together, laughed, cried, and struggled in the faith side by side. His fall was great, but his redemption even greater.
THE CONFESSION
FROM FORNICATION TO FOUNTAINS OF GLORY
My name is Brother Thankgod. I’m 29 years old. From my youth, I’ve always had a passion for the things of God. I was gifted as a gospel artist, frequently invited by churches to minister. But behind the scenes, I was a man drowning in sin.
Despite singing under the anointing, I had never truly encountered Jesus. I lived a double life. The choir, where I served, had become a den of sexual immorality—filled with fornication, adultery, masturbation, lustful conversations, and pornography. Sadly, I was a major contributor.
This is one of the most frightening realities about spiritual hypocrisy: a person can become comfortable performing publicly while dying privately.
The outward appearance may remain impressive while the inward life is becoming increasingly broken. The applause of people can sometimes make it easier to ignore the voice of conscience, because every invitation, every compliment, and every opportunity to minister can create the illusion that everything is still fine.
But ministry activity is not proof of spiritual health. Being gifted is not the same thing as being transformed. Standing before people is not the same thing as standing right before God.
A person can carry a gift while carrying an unresolved bondage, and if that bondage is continually protected, it can eventually consume the very person who carries the gift.
I had seven girlfriends. I never went a week without sex unless I was in the hospital. Even then, my girlfriends would send me explicit photos to keep my desires alive. I was addicted to fornication—living recklessly while still ministering powerfully in church.
I often asked myself, “Why hasn’t God struck me down on the altar?” I now know the answer: Because God is merciful. He gives space for repentance, but His judgment will not sleep forever.
That question should cause every Christian living in secret sin to pause and examine their heart. The fact that judgment has not come does not mean God approves of the behavior.
The fact that consequences have not appeared does not mean there are no consequences. Sometimes the greatest expression of God's mercy is the time He gives a person to turn around before the road of destruction becomes irreversible.
God's patience should never be interpreted as permission.
WHEN PEACE LEAVES THE HEART
Then came the day my peace left me. I felt God calling me to confess and be restored. But fear gripped me.
What would the congregation say?
What would the pastors who invite me think?
What about my fellow choristers?
These questions reveal something important about confession. Many people are not afraid of repentance itself; they are afraid of what people will think when the truth becomes known.
They are afraid of losing their position, reputation, invitations, relationships, or respect. They would rather continue carrying a secret than experience the temporary pain of exposing it.
But a question pierced my heart:
“Thankgod, if you die tonight, do you know you're heading to hell?”
My answer was clear—Yes.
Another voice asked, “Fifty years after your death, who will remember you?”
“No one,” I replied.
That moment forced me to look beyond immediate pleasure and temporary reputation. Sin often makes the present moment look bigger than eternity. It tells a person to protect today's pleasure, today's relationship, today's secret, today's reputation, and today's comfort, while ignoring what those choices may produce tomorrow.
But eternity is real.
The next day, I stood before the church. With trembling hands, I took the microphone—not to sing, but to confess.
I exposed everything: my hidden sins, my hypocrisy, and my rebellion against God. The congregation was stunned. Some wept. Others shouted in shock. A few rejoiced.
But for me, it was the first time I experienced true peace and genuine joy. No amount of money or fame could compare.
That day, I was free.
There are moments when truth hurts before it heals. Confession can be painful because it removes the mask and exposes what a person has spent years protecting.....But there is a freedom that comes when the hidden life is brought into the light, when excuses are abandoned, when blame is rejected, and when a person finally says, “Lord, this is who I have become. I need Your help.”
Freedom does not begin with pretending that everything is fine. It begins with honesty.
GRACE THAT RESTORES A FALLEN MAN
Since then, my life has changed. My pastor recommended me to his senior pastor, who took me in. I now live with him, under mentorship and restoration. The gift of God in me didn’t die, because the Bible says, “The gifts and calling of God are without repentance.” (Romans 11:29)
Though the enemy came to destroy my destiny, God rewrote my story.
This part of the testimony is important because restoration is more than saying, “I am sorry.” True restoration requires a willingness to submit to godly processes. Sometimes that process involves stepping away from certain responsibilities, accepting correction, submitting to mentorship, rebuilding spiritual disciplines, and allowing trustworthy people to observe your progress.
The goal is not merely to return to the microphone. The goal is to return to God.A person who has fallen should not be obsessed with recovering a position before recovering his character. There is a danger in wanting the platform back before the foundation has been repaired. The priority should be healing, repentance, maturity, accountability, and a genuine relationship with God.
The story of Thankgod reminds us that a fall does not have to be the final chapter. But restoration should never be used as an excuse to continue in sin. Grace is not permission to remain where God is calling you out of. Grace gives you another opportunity to become what God intended you to be.
A FINAL WARNING TO THE BACKSLIDDEN CHRISTIAN
If you’re reading this and still serving in the church—singing, preaching, ushering—but secretly bound by sexual sin, this is your call to repentance.
You may fear public shame, but nothing compares to eternal separation from God.
God is not blind. He sees the fornication behind your worship, the embezzlement behind your leadership, the pornography hidden behind your locked phone.
Dear chorister, usher, pastor, evangelist—what does God say about you when no one else is watching?
That question is more important than the question of what people think about you. People see the microphone, the garment, the title, the smile, the performance, and the public ministry. God sees the heart.
You’ve been afraid to let go—afraid to delete those seductive pictures, those immoral chats. You’re afraid of loneliness, of missing those late-night calls and sinful pleasures.
But here’s the truth: Weekend orgasms are not worth eternal torment.
I Evangelist Paulinus Paul, knows the struggle. I lived it. For 10 years, I was addicted to pornography and masturbation. I bought oils from men of God. I fasted, prayed, and wept. But nothing changed until I returned to the Word.
Jesus said, “Now you are clean through the word which I have spoken to you.” (John 15:3)
I started studying the Bible—five chapters a day, an hour of prayer daily. Slowly, God changed my appetite. Lust lost its power over me. Today, the darkness is past, and the true light now shines.
The lesson here is not that every person must follow exactly the same schedule or method. The deeper lesson is that genuine freedom requires a return to God, His Word, prayer, discipline, and deliberate separation from the things that continually feed the sinful appetite.
You cannot continually feed an appetite and then pray for the appetite to disappear. You cannot keep returning to the same environment, the same conversations, the same websites, the same secret relationships, and the same compromises while expecting a completely different spiritual result.
Something has to change.
BACKSLIDING OFTEN BEGINS BEFORE PEOPLE NOTICE
Backsliding rarely announces itself with a loud voice. Sometimes it begins quietly. Prayer becomes less important. The Bible becomes a neglected book. Conviction becomes an irritation.
Secret compromise becomes normal. The person still attends church, still sings, still smiles, and still responds when called upon, but something has changed inside.
The danger is that outward religious activity can continue long after inward devotion has begun to disappear.
A person may still know the right scriptures while no longer obeying them. They may still know how to pray publicly while struggling to pray privately. They may still speak about holiness while entertaining things that destroy holiness in secret.
That is why every Christian must continually examine the heart.
Not only, “Am I still going to church?”
Not only, “Am I still involved in ministry?”
But also, “Am I still walking with Jesus when nobody is watching?”
That is where the real question lies.
TO YOU READING THIS NOW
Don’t rush into marriage just to escape fornication. What you cannot conquer as a single person will still conquer you when married.
Lust doesn’t respect wedding rings.
Marriage is not a magical cure for an undisciplined heart. Marriage is a covenant, not a rehabilitation center for unresolved sexual bondage.
If a person enters marriage carrying secret addictions and unaddressed patterns of lust, those struggles may simply change their environment rather than disappear.
The Holy Spirit wants to raise a generation of Christians who love God when no one is watching. Holiness isn’t just about dressing modestly. It’s about the condition of your heart.
Don’t be a hypocrite in the choir, a fraud in the pulpit, or a fornicator in leadership.
Confess. Repent. Be restored.
These three words are simple, but they require courage. Confession requires honesty. Repentance requires turning away. Restoration requires patience, humility, accountability, and a willingness to submit to godly guidance.
If I, Evang. Paulinus Paul, could be delivered from a decade of addiction and now run a ministry focused on eternity, so can you.
Your present condition does not have to become your permanent identity. The fact that you have struggled does not mean you must remain defeated. The fact that you have fallen does not mean you should stop seeking God. But you must be willing to stop making peace with the very thing that is destroying your spiritual life.
DO NOT HIDE BEHIND MINISTRY
One of the greatest dangers for a Christian involved in ministry is using ministry to hide personal brokenness. A person can become busy with church activities and still avoid dealing with the condition of the heart. Sometimes activity becomes a distraction from accountability.
You can sing while struggling.
You can preach while struggling.
You can lead while struggling.
You can pray for others while desperately needing help yourself.
The answer is not to pretend. The answer is to seek restoration.
God is more interested in the truth of your heart than the appearance of your ministry. The goal is not to impress people with spiritual language while privately living in bondage. The goal is to become a person whose private life agrees with the message being preached publicly.
There is no shame in admitting that you need help. There is greater danger in knowing that you need help and deliberately refusing it.
YOUR SECRET LIFE MATTERS
The secret place is where many battles are either won or lost. What do you watch when nobody is there? What conversations do you entertain when no one can hear? What websites do you visit? What relationships do you protect? What thoughts do you continually feed?
These questions may be uncomfortable, but they are necessary.
Christianity is not simply about looking holy before people. It is about becoming holy before God. The person you are in secret is not a different person from the one standing before the congregation. Eventually, the private life has a way of influencing the public life.
That is why repentance should not be postponed.
Do not wait until you are exposed.
Do not wait until your marriage is destroyed.
Do not wait until your ministry collapses.
Do not wait until your conscience becomes completely numb.
Return while your heart can still hear God's voice.
THE POWER OF RETURNING TO THE WORD
I know the struggle. I lived it. For 10 years, I was addicted to pornography and masturbation. I bought oils from men of God. I fasted, prayed, and wept. But nothing changed until I returned to the Word.
Jesus said, “Now you are clean through the word which I have spoken to you.” (John 15:3)
I started studying the Bible—five chapters a day, an hour of prayer daily. Slowly, God changed my appetite. Lust lost its power over me. Today, the darkness is past, and the true light now shines.
The Word of God must become more than something we quote during church services. It must become something we allow to correct us, challenge us, confront us, and reshape our desires. Sometimes the Word will tell us what we do not want to hear. Sometimes it will expose the very thing we have been trying to protect.
But that exposure is mercy.
God's Word does not expose our darkness to destroy us. It exposes our darkness so that we can walk into the light.
DO NOT LET SHAME KEEP YOU IN BONDAGE
Sometimes people fall into sin, become ashamed, and then use that shame as an excuse to remain far from God. They think, “I have already failed, so what is the point of trying again?”
But that is exactly when you need to return.
The enemy wants you to believe that because you fell, you no longer have permission to rise. He wants your failure to become your identity. He wants your past to become the explanation for your future.
But repentance says, “I fell, but I will rise.”
Grace says, “I failed, but God can restore me.”
Faith says, “My story is not finished.”
This does not mean consequences disappear. It does not mean trust is instantly restored. It does not mean every ministry position should immediately be returned. It means there is hope for a genuinely repentant heart.
Restoration may take time.
Healing may take time.
Trust may take time.
Character may take time.
But the journey can begin today.
DO NOT RUN FROM GOD WHEN YOU FALL
Adam and Eve hid after they sinned, but God came looking for them. Throughout Scripture, we see the mercy of God calling people back from their failures. The call of repentance is not a call to run deeper into darkness. It is a call to come home.
If you have fallen, stop running.
If you have compromised, stop defending yourself.
If you have been living a double life, stop pretending.
If you have been trapped in secret sexual sin, cry out to God.
Then seek godly help.
Find your pastor. Find a mature Christian who can hold you accountable. Remove the things that continually pull you back. Rebuild your prayer life. Return to the Word. Create boundaries. Be honest.
The road of restoration may not be comfortable, but it is better than the road of destruction.
YOUR DESTINY IS NOT A TOY
The temporary pleasure of sin can never compare with the eternal value of your soul. What looks small today can become a chain tomorrow. What begins as a private compromise can eventually affect your marriage, family, ministry, reputation, spiritual life, and relationship with God.
Do not trade your destiny for temporary pleasure.
Do not trade your calling for secret sin.
Do not trade eternity for a moment.
The enemy does not always need to destroy a person through a dramatic event. Sometimes all he needs is to convince the person to keep compromising little by little.
But you can stop today.
You can return today.
You can repent today.
You can begin again today.
SAY THIS OUT LOUD
“I, [your name], will overcome every secret sin. I am a destiny child. Even if I fall 100 times, Jesus will raise me up. I will make Heaven. I will live holy, in Jesus’ name.”
Do not merely say these words with your lips. Let them become a decision of your heart. Let your declaration be followed by action. Let your prayer be followed by discipline. Let your repentance be followed by accountability.
A declaration without obedience will not produce transformation. You must walk in the direction of the confession you have made.
If you say you want purity, pursue purity.
If you say you want freedom, remove the chains.
If you say you want restoration, submit to the process.
If you say you want Jesus, make Him Lord over the areas you have previously kept hidden.
NOW GO BACK TO GOD
Now, go on your knees. Cry out to God. Then, find your pastor. Make a sincere, open confession and begin the journey of restoration.
Do not wait for another day.
Do not wait until the temptation becomes stronger.
Do not wait until your secret becomes public.
Do not wait until your family discovers what you have been hiding.
Do not wait until your ministry is destroyed.
Return now.
The story of a backslidden Christian does not have to end with destruction. It can become a testimony of mercy. It can become a warning to others. It can become evidence that God can take a person who was drowning in sin and lead that person toward fountains of glory.
The same God who calls us to holiness is also the God who calls the broken back to Himself. His mercy is not an invitation to continue sinning; His mercy is an opportunity to repent, rebuild, and walk differently.
There are people reading this who may feel that they have gone too far. Perhaps you have disappointed yourself. Perhaps you have disappointed your family. Perhaps you have disappointed your church. Perhaps you have even wondered whether God can still use your life.
Come back.
Start again.
Tell the truth.
Seek help.
Submit yourself to the process of restoration.
Let God deal with the root, not merely the symptoms.
Let Him change your appetite.
Let Him rebuild your character.
Let Him restore your hunger for His presence.
Let Him teach you to love holiness again.
FROM FORNICATION TO FOUNTAINS OF GLORY
This is why this story matters. It is not simply a story about fornication. It is a story about what happens when a person stops hiding and starts confronting the truth. It is a story about the danger of backsliding, the seriousness of secret sin, the mercy of God, and the possibility of restoration.
A good beginning does not always guarantee a good ending, and no one is beyond the risk of backsliding.
Therefore, watch your heart.
Guard your life.
Protect your relationship with God.
Do not become so familiar with church that you become unfamiliar with Christ. Do not become so comfortable with ministry that you neglect your soul. Do not become so concerned about how people see you that you forget how God sees you.
The goal is not merely to start well.
The goal is to finish well.
The goal is not merely to hold a microphone.
The goal is to hold on to Christ.
The goal is not merely to be known by people.
The goal is to be known by God.
And if you have fallen, remember this:
Your fall does not have to be your final destination.
There is a road back.
There is mercy.
There is grace.
There is forgiveness for the genuinely repentant heart.
There is restoration.
There is hope.
There are fountains of glory beyond the place where you fell.
So rise.
Return.
Repent.
Be restored.
And walk with Jesus again.
May the Lord give strength to every Christian fighting a secret battle. May He give courage to those who need to confess. May He give wisdom to those walking through restoration. May He heal the wounds caused by sin and rebuild what has been broken.
And above all, may we never become so proud of our public Christianity that we neglect the condition of our private hearts.
Amen.
AN UPDATE ON BROTHER THANKGOD: A LIFE OF RESTORATION
Less I forget, I met Brother Thankgod last month, in August 2026, in the church, and he was sharing with me some of his new testimonies.... Listening to him speak about what God has done in his life since his confession and restoration reminded me that genuine repentance is not simply about crying over the past; it is about allowing God to rebuild the life that was once broken.
Brother Thankgod has now started a business, and he is doing great in business. He has also been able to get an apartment for himself. This is significant because, after he made his restitution in the church in year 2019, his pastor decided to draw him closer rather than abandon him.
He started sleeping in the pastor’s residence in the church, assisting in the church's technical departments, serving faithfully while remaining under spiritual mentorship and restoration.
Today, the same man who once had a life controlled by secret sin is gradually building a new life through discipline, accountability, honest work, service, and the grace of God.
He has also acquired land properties, and all these things have happened in Port Harcourt, Rivers State, Nigeria. His story is no longer only about where he fell; it is also about where God has brought him after he humbled himself, confessed, repented, and submitted himself to restoration.
His life has become a big testimony and an inspiration to others in the church. People can look at him and see that falling does not have to be the final chapter of a person's story when there is genuine repentance and a willingness to submit to God, correction, mentorship, and the process of restoration.
This is why I believe Brother Thankgod's testimony must be told carefully. It is not a license for anyone to continue in sin because they believe God will eventually restore them. Rather, it is a warning to the backslidden Christian that there is still hope if you are willing to turn back to God, confess your sins, abandon your old ways, and walk through the sometimes painful process of restoration.
God did not merely bring Brother Thankgod out of sexual sin; He began rebuilding his life. From fornication to repentance, from shame to peace, from bondage to service, and from a broken past to a growing future, his journey is a living reminder that God's mercy can rewrite a person's story.
His testimony is still unfolding.
And perhaps the most beautiful part is this: the man who once thought his story was ending discovered that, with God, restoration could become the beginning of something greater.
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SALVATION MESSAGE
If you wish to escape the eternal fiery burning torment of HELLL FIRE inorder to make HEAVEN, you must accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal saviour today because tomorrow is never promised. You must restitute and confess all your sin unto God and also ensure you joined “ a Bible Believing Church for more spiritual growth” However, if you are a Christian and still indulges into various kinds of sins such as......
Envy, anger, unforgiveness, lying, hatred, malice, murmuring, gossiping, stealing, taking or giving bribe, exams malpractice, fraud, smuggling and robbery. Perhaps you into masturbation, fornication, adultery, prostitution, Lusting after MONEY and SEX, abortion, lesbianism, homosexuality, kidnapping, ritual killings and assassination; You must confess and repent today.
Perhaps you into drunkenness, fighting and quarreling, alcoholism, smokers, divorcee, polygamous marriage, occultism. Consultaton of native doctors for charms making. PRAYING in the name of MARY or any Saints or Angels, BOWING DOWN or HONORING THEM. You must renounce all these abominables and plead for God's mercy
Perhaps as a Woman you still given-in into vile affection "CHANGING THE NATURAL USE OF YOUR BODY INTO THAT WHICH IS AGAINST NATURE" Therefore indulging yourself into worldly fashions, dressing in transparent clothes, wearing of mini and tightly skirts or WEARING OF TROUSERS (pant). Exposing your breast, lapse to seduce men. Painting lips, fixing attachments, weave-on, jewelries and earrings. Making-up, putting on extra eye lashes, piercing of noses, tattoos, nails fixing and body bleaching
You must repent, dispose and burnt them off and ensure you maintain your natural beauty because unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
Remember; your soul is precious and was costly purchase by the Blood of Jesus Christ and you can't afford to lose "yours" in Hell for the next billions and trillions of years in ETERNITY with eternal sorrow, tears, anguish and hopeless of ever coming-out due to mere pleasure and fashion of this world that PASSETH-AWAY which you can easily forsakes NOW and run to Heaven.
Oh Heaven; a place of an everlasting joy, without tears, sorrow and neither pains but rather filled with happiness and God's glory. Please my beloved, "Don't Miss Heaven" and I pray to see you in that Glorious City very soon. Please Say Below short prayer and get right with God today.
CONFESSION AND ACCEPTANCE OF CHRIST
Dear Lord Jesus Christ; I admit that I am a sinner. I have done many things that don’t please you. I have lived my life for myself only. I am sorry, and I repent. I ask you to forgive me. I believe that you died on the cross for me, to save me.
You did what I could not do for myself. I come to you now and ask you to take control of my life; I give it to you. From this day forward, help me to live every day for you and in a way that pleases you. I love you, Lord Jesus, and I thank you that I will spend all eternity with you in Jesus name i pray. Amen
