The People We Judge Without Understanding
Some days ago, someone shared a heartbreaking image of a little mouse caught in a trap. Its tiny eyes were swollen with tears, its paw was crushed, and blood stained the wooden floor beneath it. Yet, what caught my heart wasn’t the pain or the blood, but the words written beside it: “I’m not a dangerous animal and I won’t hurt you. I was just hungry.” Those simple words carried a powerful message about hunger, poverty, desperation, compassion, judgment and the hidden battles many people face every day.
A CRY FROM THE TRAPS OF LIFE
Those words took me back, way back to my early years in Alagbado, Lagos State. There was a young boy in our compound named Chima. He was always dirty and was often seen sneaking into kitchens whenever no one was looking. At least once a week, someone would shout, “That Chima don carry my garri again oh!”
I remember how we mocked him. We called him a thief. Some adults would beat him up. One woman even tied him to a tree once under the hot sun for taking a piece of fried fish. At the time, many of us probably thought he deserved the punishment because we only saw what he had done. We saw the stealing, but we did not see the story behind the stealing. We saw the behaviour, but we did not understand the hunger.
But what we didn’t know, and what we never even stopped to ask, was that Chima was just hungry. His mother had died when he was six. His father, a drunk, barely returned home with enough money to buy a sachet of pure water. Most nights, Chima and his younger sister slept on empty stomachs. So, he learned to steal to survive. He learned to beg, to sneak, and to be smart. He was a child trying to find a way to survive circumstances he did not create.
While the world saw a thief, what he truly was was a boy in pain.
THE PEOPLE WE JUDGE WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING
Now, years later, whenever I see that mouse crying in a trap, I see Chima’s face. I see the countless boys and girls living on our streets.
I see the bus conductors who shout angrily, not necessarily because they enjoy being rude, but because life has never been kind to them.
I see the prostitutes in Allen Avenue, the young cult boys in Badagry, the jobless graduates walking the streets of Lagos and Abuja, and the countless prisoners sitting in cells. Some have made terrible decisions and must take responsibility for their actions, but many also have stories filled with poverty, rejection, abuse, broken homes, desperation and missed opportunities.
This is why we must be careful about judging people solely by what we see on the outside. A person’s behaviour may be wrong, but their story may be complicated. Their actions may require correction, but their humanity still deserves dignity. Understanding someone does not mean approving of everything they do. Showing compassion does not mean calling evil good. It simply means refusing to forget that every human being has a story.
Sometimes, before asking, “Why did this person do this?”, we should also ask, “What happened to this person?”
HUNGER IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT FOOD
Hunger isn’t always about food. Some people are hungry for love. Some are hungry for peace. Some are hungry for hope. Some are hungry for acceptance. Some are hungry to be noticed and treated as human beings. Some are hungry for someone to listen without immediately judging them. Others are hungry for another opportunity to rebuild their lives after making terrible mistakes.
There are people who have food on their tables but are starving emotionally. There are people surrounded by crowds but dying from loneliness.
There are people attending church every Sunday while secretly crying themselves to sleep at night. There are young people desperately looking for someone to believe in them. There are fathers who are ashamed because they cannot provide for their families and mothers who silently carry burdens nobody knows about.
Hunger can therefore take many forms. Poverty can create hunger for food, but rejection can create hunger for acceptance. Abuse can create hunger for safety. Loneliness can create hunger for companionship. Failure can create hunger for hope. Broken relationships can create hunger for love.
And when people are hungry, they sometimes make desperate decisions.
WHEN SOCIETY SETS TRAPS
But what does society often do? We set traps. We judge before asking questions. We condemn before listening. We punish without understanding. We label people by their worst moments and then refuse to give them room to become better.
A person makes one mistake, and we remember the mistake for years.
Someone falls into sexual sin, and we call them names.
Someone becomes addicted to drugs, and we immediately conclude that they are useless.
A young man steals because he is desperate, and we may never ask what drove him there.
A woman makes a wrong relationship choice, becomes pregnant or finds herself in a difficult situation, and instead of helping her find restoration, people may turn her situation into a public spectacle.
This does not mean that society should ignore wrongdoing. There must be accountability.
There must be justice.
There must be consequences for harmful actions. But justice without compassion can become cruelty, and correction without restoration can leave people permanently trapped in the very condition we claim to hate.
WHEN THE CHURCH BECOMES A TRAP
Sadly, sometimes even the Church, the place meant to become a refuge for wounded souls, can become a trap too.
A brother falls into sin and we throw him out.
A sister becomes pregnant and we push her to the back.
Someone struggles with addiction and we label them. Someone confesses a hidden weakness and instead of receiving guidance, they become the subject of gossip.
But have we ever stopped to ask: Why did he fall? Why did she fall? What hunger was this person trying to feed? What pain were they trying to escape? What happened before the mistake became visible?
The Church must be a place where truth is preached and holiness is upheld, but it must also be a place where broken people can find a pathway to restoration. Sin should not be celebrated, but sinners should not be treated as if they are beyond redemption.
The Bible says in Galatians 6:1 that if a person is overtaken in a fault, those who are spiritual should restore such a person in the spirit of meekness. Restoration requires both truth and compassion.
LOOK BEYOND THE BEHAVIOUR
Beloved, this world is full of “mice” trapped in situations they never expected to face.
That boy who stole your phone may have lost both parents.
That girl in makeup and tight jeans may be the breadwinner of her family.
That man who sleeps under the bridge may once have been a promising young graduate until life dealt him a bad card.
That person who behaves aggressively may be carrying years of rejection.
That woman who appears unfriendly may have been betrayed so many times that she no longer knows how to trust people.
That young person who spends hours on the street may be running away from a home where there is violence.
That child who keeps stealing food may not have eaten properly for days.
Again, this does not excuse wrongdoing. It reminds us that punishment alone does not always solve the deeper problem.
If a hungry child steals food and we beat the child without feeding him, we have punished the action without addressing the hunger.
If a lonely person desperately seeks love in unhealthy places and we only condemn the behaviour without addressing the loneliness, the person may return to the same destructive cycle.
Sometimes, true compassion means asking difficult questions and helping people deal with the root of their problems.
HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU JUDGED?
Let me ask you sincerely: How many people have you judged lately without understanding their hunger? How many “mice” have you set traps for in your heart, silently condemning them because their scars were too messy for your clean world?
The Bible says in Proverbs 21:13, “Whoso stoppeth his ears at the cry of the poor, he also shall cry himself, but shall not be heard.”
Every soul you ignore, every cry you silence, and every pain you mock should remind you that life can change unexpectedly. The person struggling today may stand tomorrow. The person you mock today may become the person you need tomorrow.
Nobody knows what tomorrow holds.
That is why compassion should never be reserved only for people whose lives look respectable.
THE HIDDEN BATTLES PEOPLE CARRY
We live in a world full of invisible battles. That man who didn’t greet you in church might be battling suicidal thoughts. That lady who keeps to herself may be recovering from abuse.
That child who is always moody may not have eaten since yesterday. The person who suddenly stopped answering your calls may be dealing with financial pressure, grief, family problems or deep emotional pain.
We walk past people like shadows, forgetting that they are made of the same flesh and tears as we are.
Sometimes, the loudest person in the room is crying inside. Sometimes, the person who always makes everyone laugh is the one who goes home and cries alone. Sometimes, the person everyone considers difficult is simply someone who has been hurt repeatedly.
We cannot know every story, but we can choose not to make someone’s pain worse.
A STORY ABOUT A BROKEN MAN
One day, a friend shared a story of a mentally disturbed man in Aba (Eastern Part Of Nigeria) who used to talk to himself and eat from the dustbin. Everyone avoided him. But after he died, a diary was reportedly found on his body, filled with brilliant poems, love notes to a woman who never loved him back, prayers he wrote to God, and letters to a son he never saw again.
The story may not be independently verified, but the lesson remains powerful: sometimes the person society has reduced to a label is still carrying dreams, memories, regrets, hopes and emotions that nobody bothered to discover.
He wasn’t simply a label.
He was a human being.
He was broken.
He was hungry for love, for healing and perhaps for one more chance.
How many people around us are also carrying stories nobody knows?
THE PRODIGAL SON WAS HUNGRY
Even in the Bible, the prodigal son reached a point where hunger became part of what brought him to his senses. He had taken his inheritance, left his father’s house and wasted everything. Eventually, he found himself in a place where he had nothing.
The Bible says he came to himself and decided to return home.
And what did the father do?
He didn’t lecture him first.
He didn’t punish him at the gate.
He didn’t publicly remind him of all his mistakes.
He embraced him.
He fed him.
He dressed him.
He restored him.
That is what love does.
Love restores.
Love understands that behind some falls is a cry for help.
The father did not pretend that the son had done nothing wrong. The son had made serious mistakes. But the father understood that restoration was more important than humiliation.
MERCY DOES NOT MEAN APPROVING WRONGDOING
There is an important difference between mercy and approval.
Showing compassion to someone does not mean agreeing with their sinful behaviour. Helping a drug addict does not mean supporting drug abuse.
... Feeding a hungry person who stole food does not mean celebrating theft. Helping a prostitute find another means of livelihood does not mean approving prostitution. Supporting a young person who has fallen into sexual immorality does not mean calling sexual sin acceptable.
Mercy says, “What you did was wrong, but you are not beyond help.”
Truth says, “You must leave this destructive path.”
Love says, “I will help you find your way back.”
That is the kind of compassion our world desperately needs.
BE CAREFUL HOW YOU HANDLE PEOPLE IN THEIR LOW SEASONS
Beloved, be careful how you handle people in their low seasons. One day, they may rise and remember who mocked them and who showed them mercy.
Be the reason someone believes in kindness again.
Be the reason a broken soul finds courage to start over.
Be the person who listens before speaking.
Be the person who helps before condemning.
Be the person who points someone toward restoration instead of pushing them deeper into shame.
You may not be able to solve every problem, but you can still make someone’s burden lighter.
Sometimes, your kindness may be the only evidence someone has that God has not forgotten them.
DO NOT BECOME A SPECTATOR OF SUFFERING
The mouse in the trap may not have been dangerous. But the silence of those who watched and did nothing can also be dangerous.
Let’s not become spectators of suffering.
Let’s become instruments of healing.
If you see someone hungry and you have food, share what you can.
If you see someone broken, listen.
If you see someone falling, help them up where you are able.
If someone has made a mistake, correct them without destroying their dignity.
If someone is genuinely seeking change, give them room to grow.
Sometimes, what looks like rebellion is actually desperation crying for attention. Sometimes, what looks like wickedness is a wounded person who has never received the help they needed. And sometimes, what looks like a hopeless case is simply a life waiting for someone to show compassion.
WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM THE MOUSE IN THE TRAP?
The image of the trapped mouse teaches us something uncomfortable: desperation can lead vulnerable creatures into dangerous places.
The mouse did not enter the trap because it wanted to die. It entered because it wanted food.
That is how many people fall into destructive situations. They are searching for something legitimate but choose the wrong path to obtain it.
Someone is hungry for love and enters a toxic relationship.
Someone is hungry for money and falls into fraud.
Someone is hungry for acceptance and joins a dangerous group.
Someone is hungry for pleasure and becomes trapped in pornography or sexual immorality.
Someone is hungry for relief and becomes dependent on substances.
Someone is hungry for significance and begins seeking validation from the wrong people.
The need may be real, but the solution can be destructive.
This is why we need wisdom, compassion and guidance.
DO NOT LET YOUR HEART BECOME A TRAP
My dear friend, life is deeper than appearances.
Sometimes, all a person needs is a listening ear, a plate of food, a kind word, a helping hand or even just a smile.
Don’t be too quick to condemn.
Don’t let your heart become a trap.
Choose mercy.
Choose kindness.
Choose love.
That small mouse in the image may represent someone in your street today. It may represent a child in your church. It may represent your neighbour. It may represent someone sitting beside you right now.
And perhaps, one day, it could represent you.
Sometimes, the people we cast out are the very ones God sends to test our compassion. Not all who wander are rebels. Some are simply lost and looking for a place to rest.
BE THE PERSON WHO STOPS THE CYCLE
There is enough cruelty in the world already.
Let us not add more.
If someone has been rejected, let us not reject them again.
If someone has fallen, let us not push them deeper.
If someone is hungry, let us not mock their hunger.
If someone is crying, let us not tell them to stop crying before we understand why they are crying.
If someone is trying to change, let us not constantly remind them of who they used to be.
People need accountability, but they also need hope.
People need correction, but they also need restoration.
People need truth, but they also need mercy.
And sometimes, one compassionate person can interrupt an entire cycle of pain.
A FINAL QUESTION FOR EVERY HEART
How many people have you passed by because their problems were uncomfortable?
How many people have you labelled without hearing their story?
How many broken people have you pushed away because their lives did not fit the image you wanted to see?
How many “mice” have you trapped with your words, your judgment, your gossip or your rejection?
Perhaps it is time to look again.
Perhaps it is time to listen again.
Perhaps it is time to show mercy again.
Because behind some of the people we call difficult are people who are simply hungry.
Hungry for love.
Hungry for acceptance.
Hungry for hope.
Hungry for healing.
Hungry for another chance.
CONCLUSION: I WAS JUST HUNGRY
Beloved, the next time you see someone struggling, remember the little mouse in the trap.
Remember Chima.
Remember the people living on the streets.
Remember the rejected.
Remember the broken.
Remember the person who made a terrible mistake.
Remember that you may not know the entire story.
The person you condemn today may simply be crying out, “I’m not dangerous. I won’t hurt anyone. I was just hungry.”
And when that day comes, may God send someone who will listen before the trap springs.
May we become people who see beyond appearances, listen beyond behaviour and love beyond imperfections.
May our homes become places of healing.
May our churches become places of restoration.
May our communities become places where vulnerable people can find compassion.
And may our hearts never become traps for people who are already wounded.
Choose mercy. Choose compassion. Choose kindness. Choose love.
Because sometimes, the person we are tempted to condemn is not looking for a fight.
They are simply looking for a way to survive.
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